Eating ice...but not on purpose. Pride. It's not about me...it's about Him.

Hey everyone!

So... it's been a lovely week.

The week started off with a couple days where we stayed at home cause Elder Peery was pretty dang sick. I beat him at chess multiple times... he beat me at Risk multiple times... and I think I taught myself to play some cool songs on the ukelele. Yeah... staying at home is the worst. SO BORING.

Also, I think whatever thermostat controls the weather here in Quebec is broken. Everything keeps melting and then refreezing and it's seriously super weird. It also means that all sidewalks and streets are deadly. 

I thought I was gonna be super cool yesterday. There was a long driveway covered in flat, extremely slippery ice. So what did I do? I got a good running start, flew past my calm, cautious companion who was making his way toward the street, and attempted to slide my way all the way to the street.

I didn't even make it a couple feet.

As soon as my feet hit the ice, I spun around and fell face first on the ice. I actually think I bit out a little divet in the ice.

It didn't taste very good.

I also kind of bruised my chin.

Elder Peery saw me fly past him, then he looked down to place his next step, and when he looked up, he saw me face first on the ice, sliding slowly toward the street and groaning/laughing.

Yes. I am technically an adult.

Technically.

Anyways. So it was a great week.

We actually had interviews with our mission president this week. And I sat down with President Patrick and told him about some of the struggles I'm having with loving people; that when people treat me badly, I know I should love them, but instead I find myself getting really easily frustrated and even offended. He looked at me and asked,

"Elder McOmber, can I be blunt with you?"

"Yes, of course, President."

"No, I mean really. Can I be blunt with you? Are you sure you want me to?"

"Yes."

"But really. Because I don't have to be."

"I think so?" (I was feeling less sure at this point.)

"You need to let go of your pride, Elder. It's not about you."

Well. As soon as he said that, I knew without a doubt he was right.

When I decided to serve a mission, I kind of just wanted to be a returned missionary. You know what I mean? Those returned missionaries who just glow. I just wanted to be that young man who everyone looks at and says, "Wow. He must have been a good missionary." And here in the mission field, I just wanted everyone I talked to or served with to love me, even if they don't love the message I share. I've been focusing so much on how people see me. And so I found myself feeling so shafted. "Why won't these people just respect me as a person? Don't they know how hard I'm working? Don't they know how difficult this is for me? And why aren't I seeing the success I think I should get? I'm doing as much as I can!"

I realized that I'd been making this mistake for most of my life. When things don't go right... it's always been about me. Either I blamed myself for my problems, or I blamed others for not treating me right, or a combination of both. It was always my fault, my problem, my need to solve it. When things fell apart, I turned inward, closed myself off from everything and everyone that could help me and tried to solve everything on my own.

I wear the name of Jesus Christ on my chest every day from sunup to sundown. And yet I've failed to represent one of His greatest qualities.

Selflessness.

Everything our Savior did in His life was for others. Everything. There were so many moments where He had every right to say, "Do you know who I am? Do you know how hard I work for you? How dare you treat me like this?"

But He didn't.

Instead, He loved. He served. He taught. He healed. He changed people's hearts, because His own heart was entirely focused outside of Himself.

He gave everything for me. And I've been foolish enough to think that the world owes me some sort of respect, some sort of recognition.

It's not about me.

It's about Him.

Jesus Christ lives. He loves us. And He changes us, if we'll let Him.

That is the message I'm here to share.

I know it's true.

En avant!

Elder Bryan McOmber